Madonna’s Smirk Says It All

I promised myself I wouldn’t write about Madonna, ’cause she just makes me retch, but sometimes you must break your own rules in the interest of the public.

I could never stand Ms. Phony Pants, right down to the way she speaks. Despite her preposterously pretentious name, was one of six kids born in Bay City Michigan for Heaven’s sake. Her father was Italian and her Mom French Canadian, so I don’t have a clue where she came up with that lame accent — likely the same Fantasy Land she also lives in.

So as much as I try to ignore her, I couldn’t resist poking fun at her shacking up with Jesus…Jesus Luz that is. Jesus is a 22-year old Brazilian model who has been seen all over the place with Madonna including a trip to Madrid, touring the Prado Museum and the Royal Palace.

Back in March of 2009, Madonna and Jesus appeared in a steamy 46-page photo shoot in W Magazine which showed her frolicking in a hotel bed with Jesus. He has his name tattooed on his back, perhaps, just in case he forgets it. Or maybe in case Madonna forgets it. I also noticed she was wearing a cross around her neck in some of the shots. Perfect!

But hey, Madonna is a walking contradiction. Do you remember when said she didn’t want her children watching TV? I guess she forgot it was the early MTV’s videos on which put her on the map to stardom. If kids were not allowed to watch TV back in the 80’s, maybe Madonna would still be in Bay City Michigan. Ahhh…wistful thinking

So I guess TV is out, but boy toys and steamy photo shoots are ok? Not to mention all the other questionable crap she has done after she had kids. Her last photo shoot for her 11th album “Hard Candy” was certainly a trip to Sluttown. She even named her tour Sticky and Sweet.  What is up with all these sexual innuendos?  Does Madoona still think this is hot? It may have worked in her younger years, but now, it’s getting sad and the time has come to put that thang away.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not a prude in any sense. But when you have children involved, it gets to a point were you just have to grow up and get some class girl. How can someone write childrens book and then go out on stage and hump a guitar? What are her kids going through? I can just hear one of her daughter’s friends: “Hey Lourdes! (ugh, hate the name) your Mom can really hump a mean guitar!”

From Sean Pean, to Dennis Rodman, to porn star Tony Ward to Guy Ritchie, and asking David Letterman to smell her underwear on TELEVISON (maybe that’s why she didn’t want her kids watching Mommy on TV) to kissing Britney Spears, and now a boytoy named Jesus? We get it Madonna, you are SO shocking. *Yawn*

As much as we wish Madonna would embrace her 50’s with class and dignity, it looks like this cougar is just getting started. In fact, Madonna may be the ultimate cougar, with 28 years between she and her latest sex-toy Jesus, putting Demi Moore to shame, with only 15 years between she and her hubby Ashton Kutcher.

And at the risk of getting nasty comments suggesting if Madonna were a man, nobody would say anything about her newest boy toy, you’d be WRONG. While part of me says, get it while you can, and the other part of me just says ewwwwwww because well…were talking about Madonna, and for some reason, she just seems a bit long in the tooth to be pulling her “Like A Virgin” routine. Again. And again.

Come Here Jesus And Give Mommy Some Sugar

It’s anyone’s guess what Madonna will come up with next, or who she will be “frolicking” with, but I only hope for her kid’s sake that she decides to clean it up a bit. With two African adoptions under her belt, her attentions are elsewhere. So THANK YOU JESUS…Jesus Luz that is.

Source: Queen

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