Spence, Hold My Drink While We Hump Dance? Praise Jesus!

Everybody and their grandmother has been reporting on “Speidi’s”
(Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt = ICK!) recent I’m A Celebrity Get me Out of Here brat-capades. I really didn’t want to give them any more attention, so I didn’t report their latest law suit against the show from Heidi’s ulcer and her much reported hospital visit, or the fact that they are claiming they were tortured and abused by the show.  YAWN.

Oh! Can someone please tell Heidi you can’t get an ulcer over night? DumbASS.

I made the mistake of tuning in one evening, to I’m  A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here, and needless to say, between Heidi’s Jesus preaching, Spencer getting baptized by Steven Baldwin and both of them having hissy fits, my TV almost ended up on the front lawn.

They're Just So Mean WAHHHHH!

So why am I reporting about Hedi now?

Because Heidi, in all her hypocritical religious glory, has decided to pose for Playboy’s September issue. When I heard the news of her Playboy gig, it not gave me the dry heaves, it succinctly validated just how much of a total fake dipshit she really is.

So, while I on one hand I will be forced to fight the nausea, on the other hand, this Playboy spread will also me joy because it makes a mockery of her ridiculous and phony bible thumping. Perhaps Jesus told her to pose nude? WWJD? Show us fake titties of course!

Sadly, many high profile religious leaders have turned out to be very hypocritical, oh hai Jim Baker and David Miscavige. So how surprised should we be that Heidi and Spencer want to have it both way? Either they are incredibly stupid, or this angel/exhibitionist crap Speidi are pulling is part of their grand scheme of achieving even greater heights of hypocrisy. I am pretty sure these two don’t even know what religion they are?

How exactly can you present yourself as some kind of religious role model, while simultaneously owing your own super trashy clothing line Heidiworld AND pose for Playboy?

*Fact*  Jesus loved zebra print halters, hot pants and stiletto heels on Mary Magdalene. *snicker*

Heidiworld… The Best Church Outfits

Now if you haven’t guessed already, I am not a big fan of organized religions myself, but even worse than blind adherence and inappropriate preaching is being a big phony ass holy rolling/attention whore/fake. Is there something in the Ten Commandments about being a fake attention whore who use religion to promote themselves? If not, there should be.

In a MTV article she claimed:

Montag said that she and Pratt read the Bible regularly, and described herself as “kind of non-denominational Baptist.” 

AND “I have been the most religious person since I was 2 years old,” she said. “I always felt this crazy connection to God.”
AND when asked about the sex tape that Lauren Conrad had supposedly shot with ex-beau Jason Wahler.

“I don’t even want to talk about that,” Montag said. “There were rumors about a sex tape, but I had nothing to do with that. God knows the truth in all of this, and at the end of the day, that is the only thing that matters. Jesus was persecuted, and I’m going to get persecuted, ya know?”

Ummm, She claims she has been religious since she was TWO? God knows the truth about the sex tape? And is no one offended she comparing the persecution of Jesus to her and Spencerbeing persecuted over a sex tape? Which BTW, Spencer did apologize for eventually for his role in spreading lies about Heidi’s former best friend, Lauren Conrad. Keep it classy Speidi!

*BANGS HEAD AGAINST WALL* Bitch PA-LEASE!

To add even more comedic fodder to the mix, Heidi and Spence got married at the Westminster Presbyterian Church in Pasadena (the only church that would have them perhaps?) They also wanted to do a Christian album together. Confused? So are they.

Hmmm…. something tells me that  Heidi doesn’t know what she believes in? Maybe she thinks if she keeps saying Praise Jesus enough, it will make up for her slutty, fake persona. Little newsflash: IT WON’T.

I think Heidi must use a “Religion game spinner” when she gets up in the morning? I can just picture it….

 
Today is Tuesday…spin…yay! today I am a Scientologist! Oh wait…their TOO culty and scary. Spin Again…ok…Ahh! I’m Christian today! yay!

So back to this posing nude for Jesus b.s., er I mean Playboy.

PEOPLE reported:

 Heidi Montag has gotten a lot of exposure lately – but the newlywed is about to get even more: She has posed for the September issue of Playboy, PEOPLE has confirmed.

The reality star was most recently stirring up drama on I’m a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here, shot in Costa Rica, where she was briefly hospitalized. In April, she married her Hills costar Spencer Pratt.

Details of her Playboyphotos are, um, scant: “There is nudity. It’s tasteful – she had a lot of fun with it,” says a second source. A rep for the magazine had no comment, and Montag’s rep was not immediately available to respond to questions.

Well Hedi is no stranger to using her body for some free PR, Ms. Religion also posed for Maxim last year, in yet another lovely church ensemble.

I think Heidi should just do a religious porn and get it over with.

Now before all you religious types get your kickers in a bunch and start leaving ugly comments, remember, this is a CELEBRITY GOSSIP blog and it was meant to entertain, and if necessary, offend!

Source: Queen

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