VH1 has just announced its newest motley crew of rehabbers who will embarrass themselves in the upcoming Season 3 of “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew Pinksy.”

Dr. Drew is a board certified internist and an addiction medicine specialist who holds the hands of these troubled celebs. Sounds like a pretty crappy job if you ask me.

For those of you who not familiar with “Celebrity Rehab,” it’s a reality show for stars with various addiction problems. These troubled “stars” agree to enter a rehab center in Pasadena Ca. for treatment under the care of Dr. Drew and a staff of former addicts.

Dr. Drew is previously famous for his Los Angeles radio show, “Loveline,” and also a show on MTV called Sex With Mom And Dad. But the last couple of years, Dr. Drew has been hit with the reality show bug and will be joining Celebrity Rehab for its third season. Dr. Pinksy is also involved in another reality show called “Sober House.” This spin-off show is for graduates of “Celebrity Rehab” who go into a communal home after “graduation” and try to make it on their own with some supervision, rules, chores and curfews.

In the past, Celebrity Rehab has had such guests as Steven Adler, ex drummer of Guns N’ Roses, Rod Stewart’s son Sean, ex female wrestler Chyna, actors Gary Busey and Jeff Conaway, as well as several other assorted Z-listers.

For the life of me, I can’t understand why anyone would agree to do this show. Do these stars really want to put another nail in the coffin of their already embattled careers by advertising their drug and alcohol problems? Or perhaps they are they looking to revamp their careers? I hate to use the term has beens, but these stars have not been in the limelight for quite some time, and some of them I wouldn’t consider stars at all.

For example, last season, when the show featured Rod Stewart’s son Sean and ballerina turned porn gal/failed politician/adult toy store owner Mary Carey. Seriously, how are these people considered “stars” by any stretch of the imagination. Reality television really is the first sign of the end of times. You read it hear first.

As sad as all this may seem, it gets worse and VH1 seems to be really scraping the bottom of the barrel for Season 3.
Do people really consider some of these people stars? Who’s next on deck for Season 4? Madonna’s plumber?

According to VH1:

VH1 has once again partnered with Dr. Drew Pinsky for a third season of the hit reality series Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. The series, consisting of eight one-hour episodes, is slated to premiere in early 2010.

Similar to the first two cycles, the third season of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew will follow the real-life experiences of celebrity patients undergoing detoxification and treatment at the Pasadena Recovery Center. The show will follow Mackenzie Phillips (One Day At A Time), Heidi Fleiss, Dennis Rodman, Mindy McCready (country music singer), Lisa D’Amato (America’s Next Top Model), Mike Starr (Alice in Chains), Kari Ann Peniche (ex-Miss United States Teen) and Joey Kovar (Real World Hollywood).

The series will chronicle the patients’ intensive 21-day program with both group and one-on-one therapy and non-traditional therapies like art and music. Returning to the show to help Dr. Drew are drug counselor Bob Forrest and resident technician Shelly Sprague who have each spent years on both sides of the rehab fence. Dr. Drew is also bringing in some additional prominent physicians to help him give the patients supplementary one-on-one care.

Uhhhh, I thought this show was called CELEBRITY Rehab? Heidi Fleiss, the ex Hollywood Madame? What is she famous for? Being a whore-peddler and a tax evader?

Back in 2008, Heidi was charged with driving without a license, possession of dangerous drugs without a prescription, under the influence of a controlled substance and driving under the influence of a controlled substance. Which foiled her plans to open the first wind powered brothel.  FOR WOMEN! That’s right… a spa combo brothel for women to get pampered in EVERY way possible. I kid you not.

And here I thought I could go to this 60-acre stud farm when it opened to make a full and DETAILED report. *wink, wink*

But in the end, Heidi said she has decided against it:

“I don’t want to work so hard…and deal with all the nonsense in the sex business” 

Oh well, that was one story I was really looking forward too. Maybe she will have a change of heart on Celebrity Rehab and find it too difficult to deal with. Or maybe she can turn the rehab center into a brothel during her short stay.

Fleiss has always given me the heebie geebies. What is up with her lips anyways? Another plastic surgery gone WAY wrong? Or too much tonsil teasing? Yes I said it, your heard me. Now please excuse me while I go bathe in Purell.

As for the rest of the cast…..Lisa D’Amato? WHO? Kari Peniche? WHO? Joey Kovar? WHO? WHO? WHO?

At least we all know Mackenzie Phillips from her early role in American Graffiti, then on to the sitcom “One Day At A Time,” where it was reported she had drug problems even way back then.  Mackenzie is the love child of the late John Phillips of the Mamas and the Pappas and half sister to Scientologist Bijoux Phillips. (blech!) I guess we can all be thankful Bijoux hasn’t managed to get McKenzie into that dern cult. Let’s hope it stays that way.

Then there’s Dennis Rodman. He was just recently on the “Apprentice” where he apparently made a complete ass out of himself with his drinking problem. So perhaps Dr. Drew can talk some sense into him. Let’s hope he keeps his wedding dress at home this time? On a sidenote: Rodman in a wedding gown and full make up and wig shoots down the claim that every bride is beautiful.

So back to reality…well sort of. Just how much or these “reality shows” are in fact reality?

Jeff Conaway was on last season and he was a real mess. He had previously been on “Celebrity Fit Club,” but never made it to the end of the show, because again, he was a real mess.  But was ALL of that mess the real deal? Or was some of that mess just Jeff putting on his actor’s cap?

You may remember Jeff as Kenickie in the movie Grease or perhaps when he played Bobby Wheeler on “Taxi.”  I feel particularly sorry for Conaway, as fellow Grease star John Travolta lured the troubled actor into the cult of Scientology. We haven’t heard much from Jeff lately, so let’s hope he’s decided to opt out and save his money for some real care with professional doctors who can actually help him. Of course, we want Jeff to get better, but Scientology is not the answer, even if it seems to offer a short-term solution to someone’s problems. In the long run, those sucked into the cult will end up broke, broken and forced to start all over…and that’s if they are one of the lucky few who get out altogether.

So, is “reality TV” real? Considering these stars are being filmed and have cameras on them constantly, something most of them should be used to from years of living in the limelight, how can they resist the urge not to act or be a little bit overly dramatic for some extra camera time? And more importantly….how does this effect their recovery process?

At the celebrity rehab reunion, Jeff was interviewed and he said that Celebrity Rehab was a job:

“If you’re gonna do it, do it. Don’t beat around the bush. I was there to do a job and whatever rehab came out of it was a perk. It was an add-on. I’m an actor. Hire me and I do my thing. As an actor, there’s a myriad of choices you make, so I would choose the one that would be the best for the show and do that. So, in a way it was acting, but it was real.”

Hmmm, very interesting perspective.

Of course it’s important to point out, the participants get paid to be there. That’s a conflict of interest right there I’d say. What the viewers might not be aware of is that some of these people were “acting” through their addictions. Even worse, it’s possible some of these “addictions” weren’t truly addictions to begin with?

The truth of the matter is, there is not a whole lot of reality to these reality shows. These shows are edited to death to make it interesting, and many times, what you see is not even close to what was said or what actually took place.

Of course these shows are made to entertain the masses. And entertain they do. Fans don’t seem to care if the shows are not completely truthful, they’ll tune in just the same as they would to any soap opera. Whether it’s real or not, they don’t seem to care. Either way, I sincerely hope that this rehab show is actually helping these people and not just exploiting them.

Like the idea or not, D-listers as trainwrecks trying to rehab themselves is TV gold. Even I  am guilty of watching a few episodes when Conaway was on, but in my defense, I always liked the guy and was rooting for him to get better. Ultimately, it just made me sad to watch him in the state he was in, whether he was acting or not.

While the show itself might not have been real, what was very real was the pain Conaway endured from his horrible back injury, which has left him hunched over with a back brace and a cane. I also found his speech impediment very disturbing, as he constantly slurred his words and this had to be due to many years of drug abuse. Just sad to see such a vibrant star, or anyone for that matter, become so debilitated.

Dr. Drew believes that Jeff really doesn’t know the difference between when he’s acting and when he’s not — and this may be true — but from everything I’ve witnessed, the show makes people look sad and even more washed up than perhaps they are in real life. How cruel is that?

I DO think if the show is going to call itself Celebrity Rehab, it should actually have ALL CELEBRITY participants, or perhaps VH1 should change the name to Sorta Famous Rehab.

Of course I don’t know how many “real” celebs would be willing to put themselves out there for all the world to see, as they air their dirty laundry. These are very private matters and should be taken care of privately. Unfortunately, with the economy in the crapper, we can expect to see more has-beens and never-weres willing to let people into their private lives, whether it be for a buck or camera time. Let’s face it, these shows are CHEAP to produce.

Hey Hasselhoff, Janice Dickinson and Amy Winehouse….your bed is waiting? Maybe now that Winehouse has seen her once promising career get flushed down the toilet she might say YES, YES, YES to rehab?  Sorry, I couldn’t resist!

All we hope for is that while they are exploiting these fallen stars, they are also legitimately helping them as well, and perhaps some of these shows can make someone feel better about themselves? You can sit back with your bowl of popcorn in your PJ’s and say Woah! I am not as nutty as Gary Busey! (and honestly, who is?)

Many people have guilty pleasures when it comes to these reality shows. I will share a couple of mine with you. I have watched MTV’s Sweet 16, and Flavor Of Love. One show I loved to hate, and the other I just loved. So, do you have any reality show guilty pleasures?

Source: Queen