U2 singer and guitaritst David Evans, aka “The Edge” has BIG plans for Malibu, Ca. His nickname was supposedly coined by bandmate and U2 frontman Bono, for the sharp edges of his face and his ability to observe things from the edge. Er, ok.

I can just picture him and Bono back in the day at the pub, piss drunk from too many Guinesses and Bono saying (imagine in Bono’s voice):

Bono: “Davey! Listen, you bleedin mule, and I ain’t sayin this  ’cause I’m  gunner-eyed and langers, but Jaysus you’re a ride, with sharp features, and your new name will be Edge.  Now I need to do me pooley.”

David: “Sufferin ducks, You’re coddin’ me Bono?

Well Edge plunked down over $15 mil, for a 120 acre lot in the Serra Retreat also known as Serra Canyon area back in 2006.

For all of you history buffs and geography nerds:

The Serra Retreat (also called Serra Canyon) is a wooded canyon area adjacent to Malibu Creek in Lower Malibu Canyon, as well as a portion of Sweetwater Mesa.  Also home to the Malibu raquet Club.

The Franciscan friars’ Serra Retreat, named for Junipero Serra, the apostle of California and founder of the California missions.

Originally planned as the home of Malibu’s Rindge family, it was sold to the Franciscans in 1942.

Evans currently owns homes in Ireland and France, and also crashes in a multi-million dollar estate in the “conservative” (*snicker*) area of La Costa with his second wife Morleigh Steinberg, but has bigger plans to bust a move, and hob nob with residents of the Serra Retreat area.

Well I guess Bono wasn’t kidding, ’cause the name sticked and now the Edge will be, you guessed it living on the edge in Malibu, on the beautiful Pacific coastline.

Edge said:

“My family and I love Malibu, having maintained a residence here for more than a decade,” he told the Times. “These homes will be some of the most environmentally sensitive ever designed in Malibu—or anywhere in the world. I’m disappointed that certain critics either don’t have the facts or have ulterior motives.”

There’s bick bucks in dem hills!

His new digs (if ok’ed) will put him perched above some heavy hitters in the celeb world. He will be close enough to trip over Dick Van Dykes ottoman, borrow a “cup of sugar”  (*wink, wink*) from Kelsey Grammar, enjoy a couple of cocktails with Mel Gibson, (yes you heard me) or perhaps get into a spirited conversation with James Cameron (although I would’t piss Cameron off, I heard he has quite the short fuse, and he’ll sink you faster than the Titanic).

While Malibu is of considerable beauty, but like most things there’s a dark side to the pristine coastal town: out of control wildfires.

In October 2007, Cameron, Olivia Newton-John and Tanya Tucker, were evacuated due to the pending threat of the “Witch Fire” (named after Witch Creek Canyon ) in Southern Ca, along with many other not so famous, but wealthy home owners. California has been the home of devastating wild fires on an almost annual basis for the last several years.

I guess the threat of fire doesn’t scare Edge or other celebs, after all isn’t that what insurance is for?

So what will the design for this new crib, which supposedly can be seen from as fas as twenty miles away, look like? It’s supposed to simulate leaves falling down the hillside and  have an “S” shaped pool for his band buddies to splash around in.

Sounds cool enough, right?  Well, there are a few teensy issues. Unfortunately of the environmental kind.

In order to construct this rocker’s dream-home, the top of the hillside will have to be squashed like a pancake. Residents are concerned it will spoil the view of natural landscape, and are unsure if Sweetwater Mesa Road can even handle traffic. Not to mention the water suppply pipes and electrical sources will need to be brought in, a new surface road, noise from heavy machinery, tons of dust, and of course the presence of a mega rock star could attract ogling fans. And most importantly, ALL of the major disruption planned, will likely be catastrophic to the local wild life.

So, why is any of this an issue? Aren’t famous people notorious for dropping tons of green to get what they want? Well, the issue here is U2 has a reputation for green crusading, but none of the Edge’s house plans are sounding too green to me.

It was not so much the big honking one story mansion that Evans want to build, that has local residents’ knickers in a bunch, but he also has plans to construct FOUR more homes, for a total of FIVE homes on this property

Most likely Edge and buddy, Irish real estate investor, Derek Quinlan, will take two of the homes and the other three homes will probably be sold off (’cause, you know, Edge needs the money)!

Malibu City Councilman Jefferson Wagner, told Canyon News:

“This raises environmental awareness because two homes would be more reasonable for the community, but five are a bit much. A wealthy individual can afford to hold on to homes on this type of financial feat,” Wagner adds.  “European actors and actresses often move to America because the tax rules are more favorable and rewarding than they are in Europe.”

Wagner also told Eonline:

“The downside of this is a permanently scarred mountainside for the benefit of a very few that for many years all will view,” AND “For somebody so revered even to be orchestrating this type of development in such a sensitive area is hypocritical.”

Welcome to the world of the rich and famous, where it’s “do as I say, not as I do.”

The California Coastal Commission is expected to review the environmental impact of the project in June.

Here are some more LA Times snippets:

The properties he hopes to develop perch above Malibu’s city limits in Serra Canyon, on 156 acres in an unincorporated area of Los Angeles County. The California Coastal Commission has “significant concerns” about the project, said Jack Ainsworth, deputy director of the panel’s South Central Coast District. Among them, he said, are damage to habitats, the high number of truck trips, landslide issues, the potential for hillside eyesores and the “growth-inducing impacts of pulling down a water line through other properties” that might then be developed.

Plans for extending the road call for sinking deep caissons through the slide plane, “a pretty significant undertaking from an engineering standpoint,” Ainsworth said.

The commission intends to take up the matter in June. When it does, the Edge will have an edge: his rights as a property owner. “Even if it’s considered an environmentally sensitive habitat,” Ainsworth said, “we’ve got to allow for some residential use to avoid a constitutional taking of property.”

Jim Vanden Berg, a representative for Evans and his partner in the venture, Irish real estate investor Derek Quinlan, countered that the rock musician is taking pains to ensure that the development will “create a sense of place that respects the environment [and] architecture that will stand the test of time.”

Each home, Vanden Berg said, has been tailored to the contours of its site and will be “notched into the hillside,” with boulder outcroppings and other natural elements incorporated into the designs.”

Needless to say, “Malibuites” aren’t happy campers these days about Evans chipping away more of their hillside. Apparently, this isn’t the first time that Edge hasn’t been chummy with his neighbors.

Eonline quoted:

“He and the rest of U2 came under fire in their hometown of Dublin for now defunct plans to build the so-called U2 Tower, a proposed skyscraper in the heart of the city that would’ve been the tallest in Ireland. Preservationists claimed the $220 million project would have resulted in the tearing down of four adjacent historic buildings.”

Youch! Tearing down historical buildings for a U2 skyscraper? That’s a bit full of themselves don’t ya think?

To Edge’s credit, back in 2003, he was named #24 as “The 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time” by Rolling Stone Magazine. (eh!)

He was part of the force behind Music Rising, a campaign to replace musicians’ instruments destroyed by Hurricane Katrina. Edge penned U2’s famous anti-violence anthem, “Sunday Bloody Sunday”, and recently created the theme song for the animataed series of “The Batman.” If judged on his guitar merits alone, the Edge would be a prince of a guy, but this is the real world and the Edge isn’t living up to his princely reputation.

When developer Don Schmitz, who is in charge of this Edge fiasco, was asked about the project, he refused to comment, as has as the Edge himself.

Frankly, IMO, I hope the ”Edge Project” does’t go through.  I don’t like the idea of spoiling the beauty of a landscape simply for the sake of a celebrity wanting to do so, and the hampering of wildlife is extremely bothersome.  There’s too much of that going on these days. Besides, it’s not like Edge needs yet ANOTHER house, for crying out loud.

I wonder why they sold such a huge amount of acreage to one person in the first place? Why don’t they limit the size of the property that can be bought, or ask the potential buyer for specific plans that can be reviewed before they up and sell it?  DUH!

Well maybe Malibu has learned its lesson?  ASK FIRST, AND SELL SMALLER.

It’s Edge’s “desire” to be “one” with the residents of Malibu and come to an agreement. I wonder if Malibu will “find what they’re Looking for”. Hopefully there there will be “peace on earth,” or at least in Malibu.

Ok, I’ll stop, I think you get it.

Source: Queen