Some days I love my job. Writing about celebs can be a lot of fun, but then there are days when I just have to go WTF? Today is one of those days. Why? Because I have to write about two dimwitted knucklehead McSpazatrons, that’s why.

By now you’ve probably guessed I am talking about Spencer Prattle on and on, and Heidi Montag, the two biggest fame whores on the planet. And that’s not hyperbole, seriously, there is NOTHING these two won’t do for some attention. I’ve seen sugar-addled toddlers on Halloween with more self-control than Speidi.

So, apparently, The Hills rejects Spencer and Heidi got married again for the umpteenth time and managed to get the tabloids to pay money for their nuptial pics. The irony is not lost on me that I am being a complete hypocrite for writing about these two, but in all fairness, I didn’t start it. Plus, it’s a slow celeb news day. So without further frivolities, here’s the two dumb-dumbs in their Big Day duds and some commentary from Us Magazine (enbablers!):

Heidi’s mom shared a moment with her daughter before her big day. “I’m just so happy they found each other,” she told Us. “I feel like I’ve passed on the job of taking care of Heidi to him, and it’s a big job! He’s the only other person alive who could do it.”

Apparently, Heidi’s mom Darlene, has had a change of heart, because here’s what Heidi’s mom said about Spencer back in December when the two “supposedly” got hitched in Mexico:

“He’s manipulative and seems to have power over Heidi,” Darlene Egelhoff, 46, told Us in an exclusive interview from her home in Crested Butte, Colorado the day after Montag, 22, blew off Thanksgiving with her family to stay with Pratt in Cabo San Lucas., the site of her Nov. 20 elopement. “I would like to see a blood test from Mexico. It wouldn’t surprise me if he had her drugged.”

“Spencer has tried to cut everyone out of her life,” Egelhoff tells Us. “I’ve been honest with Heidi, and it’s caused our relationship to decline. I’m more devastated about that than the marriage, because I’m confident the marriage won’t work out.”

Oh how the worm has turned, or been paid off. Whatever, everyone knows these two are just paid Us Magazine sponsors doing what two insane people must do to pay the rent. Oh, and frenemy Lauren Conrad showed up to attend to her contractual obligations. Doesn’t she look thrilled to be there? Don’t worry, she was paid to look disaffected. Pardon my skepticism, I had a bowl of Grumpy-O’s for breakfast.

If Spencer and Heidi weren’t so over-the-top annoying, it’d be like some kind of brilliant performance art, with them playing the public and the public going along for the ride. But then Heidi had to go and make music and that’s where I draw the line. An affront to my common sense is one thing, but an affront to my ears? HELLS TO THE NO! So if I must suffer, so must you. Here’s her new “song” title Sex Ed, a wedding gift for her fake hubby. If I were Spencer, I might be a bit insulted being given a song called Sex Ed. Then again, if I were Spencer I’d have driven myself off a cliff by now.

*Burp*

Sorry, coffee just barfed up in my mouth. Now, please excuse me while I go take a shower and try and clean the dirty off of me.

Source: D