It’s been a while since I posted about our old friend Herperodite (aka Paris Hilton). It was a good run while it lasted. Oh well, back to the dumbest ho in Hollywood.

Apparently, Paris and her fake boyfriend Doug Reinhardt got their asses beat at a club recently and she was so worked up about it (read: indignant, pompous) that she took to her blog to moan about it. Straight from the Wonky’s meathole:

Clearing a few things up
Just checking in to say hello and clear a few things up. I’ve been getting a lot of calls and emails regarding these subjects I’m about to discuss. First of all, last night at a club my boyfriend and I were assaulted for no reason at all. The DJ (I don’t even know his name cause he sucks so bad) was playing the worst music ever! I like certain techno music, but this was not even danceable and was frankly giving me a migraine. I asked one of my friends who runs the hotel if he could change the music and he said ” I’ll lead you up to the DJ booth tell him and he’ll play whatever you want.” So he walked Doug and I over there. I asked the DJ if he could please play Daft Punk or Bob Sinclair and he rudely snapped at me and was like ‘I only play this kind of music.” I think he was jealous cause Bob Sinclair is a far better DJ then this guy by about a million times. He was so unbelievably rude and all because I asked to play one good song. Then out of nowhere his bodyguard (don’t ask me why he has a bodyguard, like he really needs one. Ha) pushed me really hard, that’s when my boyfriend, like my knight in shining armor, stepped in and told the guy to keep his hands off of me. Then all hell broke loose, it was like something out of a fight movie, it was so frightening. I had never seen anything like it in my life. Doug was fighting off like 6 guys. But he was of course stronger then them all but one of the idiots punched him in the face and busted open his lip. There was blood all over, I cried I was so upset and scared. It was ridiculous and for such a stupid reason, I cannot believe people behave this way, like ainmals! FYI this is not in my nature to be in club brawls, I;ve never been around anything like that. It was totally unprovoked and thank God Doug was there to rescue me. A man should NEVER put his hands on a woman in that manner.

Did you get all that? Paris had a headache, blah, blah, blah music sucked, blah, blah, blah, Paris is pushy, annoying, blah, blah, blah, fake boyfriend gets his ass kicked for associating with the self-important and disease ridden. See, I saved you 30 extra sentences.

How does a person like Paris Hilton live with themselves, knowing full well that half of the world’s population actively despises them? Piles of money must help.

Lucky for me I am not famous, significantly reducing the number of people who actively despise me.

Source: D