HolyUnderAge Sluts Batman!

Perhaps you remember a while back a story running in the British tabloids about a baby-faced 13-year old boy named Alfie Patten. Little Alfie was supposed to be the father of brand spanking new baby birthed by his 15-year old girlfriend Chantelle.

Possessing an unnaturally youthful face, innocent-looking Alfie became the poster child for the woes of teen pregnancy. I remember being shocked that someone who looks barely a year older than my five-year old could have not only engaged in adult activities, but was even physically mature enough to impregnate his significantly more mature girlfriend.

Well I have good news folks, Alfie’s not the daddy. Bad news, this is NOT the outcome the little guy had hoped for. Alfie had cheerfully stepped up to the plate to take on the important role of father to Maisie, the little girl he thought was his daughter. Here’s more on the tawdry and sad story:

A DNA test showed a 13-year-old boy in Britain is not the father of a baby born to a 15-year-old he had unprotected sex with once, The Mirror reported.

Chantelle Stedman told Alfie Patten, who was 12 when he slept with her, he was her newborn daughter Maisie’s father.

The story caused a worldwide media frenzy, while politicians criticized what they called Britain’s declining morals.

At first Stedman said Patten was the only boy she had ever slept with, but soon after other teens came forward saying they too could be the baby’s father, because they claimed to have had sex with the girl.

Last month a friend of the Stedman family claimed Patten was scammed by the girl’s parents who wanted to cash in on the sensational story.

It is still not clear who the baby’s father is.

The parents of Chantelle get a capital C for CLASSY. Yep, this is what you call a smooth move by a couple of grade A asswipes. It’s not bad enough your 15-year old daughter is pregnant and so disturbingly promiscuous she doesn’t have a farkling clue WHO the father is, but you then go and compound the situation by bringing an innocent boy and the media into it simply for a little scratch.

Well Stedmans, great job, you have really outdone yourselves in the rotten douchebags department. I sure hope Alfie and his family don’t sue the hell out of you (re: I HOPE THEY SUE YOU, YOU GREEDY BASTARDS).

Alfie, take some advice from me: dry your eyes, blow your nose and cut your losses. You dodged one seriously UGLY bullet right there. Now, go outside and play some soccer or whatever it is little boys in the UK do besides having sex with sketchy older girls.

Source: D