Tom Cruise has become a tragic figure in the world of Hollywood. Once a hot commodity and object of many a young girl’s fantasy, Cruise is now an embattled soon to be has-been. His latest film, Valkyrie, about a German plot to kill Nazi leader Hitler, has become an unintentional comedy due to Tom’s delivery without even a hint of a German accent and the image of Cruise doing the Nazi salute, may be his ultimate undoing. The film, which seems to be cursed, will likely do more to destroy Cruise’s career than improve it, is set to be released on Christmas day. Also being released on Christmas day, feel-good comedy Marley and Me starring Jennifer Aniston, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttons starring Brad Pitt.

It’s fairly safe to say most will skip an overly earnest Tom Cruise taking himself too seriously, which may be what led to his last weirdness.

Somehow the two biggest nobodies who became somebodies via the “reality” TV show, “The Hills”: Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt somehow managed to hitch themselves to a “real” Hollywood star, albeit one which is falling fast, Tom Cruise. On something called “The Hills Aftershow”, Tom Cruise gets asked about Spencer and Heidi’s fake marriage (which garnered them a cover on Us Magazine, blech!). See video above for the madness. Even Tom looks bewildered on how he ended up talking about these two sh*theads.

I can’t emphasize enough how completely talentless, devoid of entertainment potential and audaciously obnoxious Spencer and Heidi are. From their fake wedding vows, to their on-the-wrong-side political viewpoints, every move they make is conceptualized for the purposes of maximum monetization. If they weren’t so brazenly depraved, they’d be admirable. But alas, the ability of Spencer and Heidi to squeeze every ounce of fame and money from their long overdue 15 minutes has rendered them so contemptible, that were one of them to miraculously discover they ACTUALLY possessed some sort of talent (beyond staged photo ops) the world of matter and anti-matter might collide in such a spectacular display of catastrophic explosions that the universe as we know would be rendered obsolete.

Seriously, these two SUCK A$$!

In conclusion, Tom Cruise’s willingness to even exist in the same world as these two short-bus occupants is a direct indictment on Cruise and the Church of Scientology (which his association with and shilling for, has singlehandedly destroyed his once white-hot career) thus proving the equation that famewhoring + our slave-like adherence to spoonfed pop culture is killing us one reality show at a time.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must attend to my morning cocktail. Drinking early helps…a lot.

Source: D

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