Madonna, ever the class act, made an announcement to her concert audience on October 6 that, “In exactly twenty-nine moves, the Queen will dump the King.”  At that point there were twenty-nine concerts left on her calendar.  Ooh, subtle and thought-provoking, words which (of course) have always described Madonna.

But, it seems that in this particular game, there may be a temporary stalemate, as she and her husband, filmmaker Guy Ritchie, have already separated:

The singer’s spokeswoman Liz Rosenberg said the couple had agreed to separate.

In a short statement – co-signed by Guy’s representative – she added the couple had not agreed a settlement.

It read: “Madonna and Guy Ritchie have agreed to divorce after seven-and-a-half years of marriage, their representatives confirmed today.

“They have both requested that the media maintain respect for their family at this difficult time.” [...]

Pals say Madge, 50, initially wanted to wait until next year to announce their separation — after her Sticky and Sweet global tour is finished.

But now she and Brit movie director Guy, 40, want a divorce finalised before Christmas — which would have seen the eighth anniversary of their fairytale wedding in a Scottish castle.

Like Dawn said yesterday, these rumors have been around for most of the year, and we called it way back that Madonna would want to wait until her tour was over before announcing any sort of split.  Now, way back in July, we found a blurb on TMZ that mapped out the whole chess game:

Well-placed sources tell us the Ritchies plan to officially split in November or December — after the Mrs.’ upcoming “Sticky and Sweet” world tour. Why? Big bucks. The concerts are expected to earn close to $300 mil worldwide, and they’ve decided to ear mark that to provide for their three children’s future.

And it gets better …

There is a whole PR strategy that has been in place for some time. We’re told the Material Girl will be “very visible” in the months leading up to the tour to “generate a lot of publicity.” That’s when “news” of the marriage’s demise would slowly leak out, causing tongues to wag — and Madonna to be on the cover of papers and mags around the world.

The marriage, we’re told, has been effectively over for some time. The couple are friends, and have realized that it is in both of their interests to make a pile of cash from this tour. No working things out here — our spies say rumors of reconciliation are “garbage.” One person told us, “She is simply playing the media — and the public — as usual.”

Have you got that, overpriced ticket purchaser?  Your money is going in Madonna’s bank account so they can make a pile of cash.  True, ostensibly it is for their children and their future, but who’s to say that future doesn’t include their mum and her needs?  And let’s face it, news of the tour is pretty boring, while news of a split is much more exciting and much more likely to land Madonna on the covers of magazines and in blog articles (such as this one).  So the date got moved up from November to now…it’s just a few weeks earlier than planned.  Throw in the continued speculation about Madonna’s relationship with A-Rod, and you’ve got yourself quite a moneymaking scandal.  Feel like a pawn yet?

As usual, the innocent victims of divorce are the kids.  Remember, Guy and Madonna have one biological child, Rocco, and one adopted toddler from Malawi, David, as well as Madonna’s daughter Lourdes from her earlier relationship with Carlos Leon.  It has been said that there have been continued and intense fights between the couple over Madonna’s desire to adopt yet another baby from the African country:

Madonna also agreed to postpone her plans for another adoption until next year. However, Madonna apparently broke the rules almost immediately.

‘Madonna just completely ignored what they had agreed, focused on her new world tour, focused on herself and just shut Guy out. It was almost as if she was saying to him “You’re not my boss”.’

And she is said to be pushing ahead on the adoption of the three-year-old Malawian girl.

Because, after all, what Madonna wants Madonna gets, and get over it if that doesn’t jibe with things such as reason and good sense.  The last time I checked, when a couple is married and something as monumental as adopting a child comes up, it is a good thing to have both parents on the same page, or at least reading the same book.  If you have one parent who isn’t totally on board it just makes things that much more difficult, and it is an incredibly selfish move to continue on with the adoption.  Yes, Guy did come to love David after his initial reluctance.  But who’s to say lightning would strike twice?

Besides, it isn’t like theirs is a regular, stable home life to start with.  Madonna is running around on a tour and stays busy with her music and movie projects.  Guy is a filmmaker who at the moment is busy shooting the latest Sherlock Holmes movie.  When do they have time for more kids?  They don’t even have time for the ones they have now, let alone adding more to the mix.  And they might even lose David to the Malawi courts if they continue with the divorce:

David Banda was adopted by both Guy and Madonna but conceivably, Malawian authorities might deem that his recent adoption should now be under review because the marriage is over and that little David might end up in the less than satisfactory circumstances of living between New York and London between adoptive parents who have now split up.

I think Guy has a perfectly reasonable argument in saying they should not adopt another child because of their lifestyles, but try telling that to Madonna, Control Freak.  She wants it, and she’s gonna have it.  Is it, however, the best thing for little David?  The people of Malawi do not look favorably on divorce, and considering the way in which Madonna fast-tracked the adoption (no waiting around in Malawi eighteen months for her, no way), there could be further consequences on poor little David, constantly in the arms of a nanny like so much designer luggage:

It seems the problems between Madonna and Guy were going on even when they were in Malawi to adopt him.

According to sources out there, they were sleeping in separate beds at their lodge. They weren’t happy. David was, in part, an attempt to revive the marriage.

Whether the growing chasm between Madonna and Guy manifested itself in screaming matches, hurt, sulky silences, or both, it is unlikely that little David has been able to be protected entirely from the misery of the disintegrating, now defunct marriage. Even if he is palmed off with the nanny most of the time. [...]

At the end of last month, Madonna took David and her other son, Rocco, out for a walk in Athens  -  where she was performing a concert  -  accompanied, as usual by the massive entourage.

The entourage is a part of David’s life, but he continues to appear bewildered by their presence, as if always looking back at his previous life in Malawi.

However much he is spoilt and pampered, however many rocking horses, child- sized BMWs and state-of-the-art music systems and designer outfits his mother buys him, nothing has been able to take away that haunted look in his eyes.

Poor little guy.  Yet another example that having (or buying) a child will not save a marriage.  However, I get the feeling that David’s adoption was less about saving the relationship between Madonna and Guy and more about Madonna, yet again, getting her way.  But what about Lourdes and Rocco?  It is said that Lourdes wants to spend more time with her father, while Rocco is very close to his father:

The issue of custody and access to their three children is also extremely complex.
Madonna is on tour in Boston with all three children, looked after by a team of nannies, while Mr Ritchie directs his new Sherlock Holmes film in London.
But they both could argue that they should equally share care of all three children alternately in New York and London.

Madonna may argue that because Lourdes has a good relationship with her father, Madonna’s former fitness trainer Carlos Leon, that she should not longer be required to have to contact with Guy. Lourdes will be able to decide whether she wants to keep having contact with Guy.

Guy may argue that because Rocco is his son who he spends more time with than Madonna, that he should live with him in London and at their Wiltshire estate, Ashcombe House. [...]

A court might also deem that the three children should not be split up and should remain with their mother. Courts most often side with mothers deeming them the primary carers. That might therefore mean that Guy has a fight on his hands to get meaningful regular access to his beloved Rocco.

Yeah, it sounds like Madonna is the “primary carer”…does that definition include hiring “a team of nannies”?  To be fair, Guy isn’t exactly being a soccer dad at the moment, since he’s off shooting movies.  But it would be pretty hypocritical of Madonna to paint herself as some sort of earth momma and Guy as an absentee father.  I hope she doesn’t try to pull that.

Plus, Guy has become disenchanted with Kabbalah, the cult Madonna is so devoted to:

Cracks in the marriage were apparent in June, when they attended marriage counselling with Kabbalah elders near their home in London. They emerged with a plan they hoped would save their marriage.

Both pledged to reduce their work schedules and not to be apart for more than a week at a time. They also pledged to support one another’s interests and when necessary, career choices.

Ritchie had reportedly become increasingly disillusioned with the Kabbalah - a mystical offshoot of Judaism, which Madonna has followed since 1997.

A friend told The Sun: ‘Guy’s initial support and interest in Kabbalah turned to annoyance and hatred.

‘Guy doesn’t believe Kabbalah is on a par with Christianity. He thinks it’s a lot of hokum - which infuriated Madonna, who believes it is a solution for many of the world’s problems.’ [...]

Said the source: ‘Madonna believes the reason she is a world icon is that she has somehow been chosen to channel messages to the masses.

‘She feels her destiny has been preordained. Guy on the other hand thinks that’s a load of b*******.

‘Kabbalah to him is about spiritual enlightenment and being one with yourself and the world.’

Of course Madonna would think that.  Is anyone really surprised?

Well, anyway, yet another celeb divorce with millions at stake and innocent children caught in the middle.  Despite what people may think, I am not rejoicing at the apparent end of yet another famous couple’s marriage.  As someone who just celebrated almost two decades of marriage (yes, to the same person), I know that marriage is hard.  There are rough patches, sometimes very rough patches.  It is not easy by any stretch.  Sometimes you’ve got to really work hard to make things work.  I also realize that there are times when it just doesn’t work out, and in those cases an amicable divorce (and continued good relationship between the two adults for the sake of the children) can be the best thing for all involved.

But I do think this little snippet sums it all up nicely:

Before she sang ‘Miles Away’ [at her concert last night in Boston], which Madonna previously claimed was inspired by Ritchie, she told the audience: ‘This song is for the emotionally retarded. Maybe you know some people who fall into that category. I know I do.’

Oh yeah.  We do too.  Checkmate!

Source: k