Well, just when you thought you’d seen and heard it all, leave it to Madonna to come up with something new.

As most of you in the free-world know, there’s been all kinds of talk about Madonna and husband Guy Ritchie getting a divorce. To add more gems of mystery to this, Madonna’s been linked to All-Star Yankee’s player Alex Rodriguez, whose wife Cynthia, has now filed for divorce, citing “emotional abandonment” and Cynthia’s lawyer is stating publicly that the relationship between the Material Girl and A-Rod was the last straw for the couple.

One more caveat to all of this is, Cindy Rodriguez was seen visiting with “good friend” singer Lenny Kravitz just prior to filing for her divorce, but she and Lenny have both emphatically stated their relationship is completely platonic and he was there simply as shoulder to cry on. Must be nice.

Ok, so are you with me so far? Good, because Madonna released a statement:

“My husband and I are not planning on getting a divorce. I know Alex Rodriguez through Guy Oseary, who manages both of us. I brought my kids to a Yankee game. I am not romantically involved in any way with Alex Rodriguez. I have nothing to do with the state of his marriage or what spiritual path he may choose to study. I have learned over the years not to take accusations and the many false reports about me very seriously. I also appreciate how fiction and fact seem to be perceived as one and the same by people who read both newspapers and the internet.”

Got that? There are no, and I repeat NO plans for a divorce between Guy and Madonna, and she is NOT responsible for the break-up of A-Rod and C-Rod’s marriage. Also important to remember, Madonna’s spokeswhore Liz Rosenberg (who’s been with Madonna since Moses walked the Earth) told the world Madonna was NOT adopting a baby from Malawi. Uh huh, and baby from Malawi, David, makes five.

There’s one other thing I forgot to mention, an “unauthorized” memoir from Madonna’s brothe, Christopher Ciccone, about life with Madge is coming out. Supposedly, she’s hopping mad about it. Funny thing is, if Madonna was really hopping mad, she’d slap her silly brother with a lawsuit so hard he’d belong to another family.

None of this adds up. Madonna and Guy having been living separate lives for the last two years. There have been endless rumors about their breakup, and he’s not been there for many significant events in her life, INCLUDING her induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, where, btw, she “forgot” to give him a thank you in her acceptance speech, which was embarrassingly bloated and lengthy with thank-yous.

The A-Rod thing may or may not be true, but this story I just read at TMZ, who are pretty accurate for a bunch of slimeballs, smells right on the money. So to speak.

Madonna is many things, entertainer, artist, musician, mother, actress? and the consummate attention-hog, but more than any of those things, she’s a master manipulator. Madonna knows how to work every situation to her advantage. So TMZ’s suggestion that this whole divorce-denial and Madonna-gate scenario is a ploy to garner media hype for her concert seems like the closest to the truth we’ve been since Madonna claimed to be “like a virgin.”

Here’s what TMZ is saying:

Well-placed sources tell us the Ritchies plan to officially split in November or December — after the Mrs.’ upcoming “Sticky and Sweet” world tour. Why? Big bucks. The concerts are expected to earn close to $300 mil worldwide, and they’ve decided to ear mark that to provide for their three children’s future.

And it gets better …

There is a whole PR strategy that has been in place for some time. We’re told the Material Girl will be “very visible” in the months leading up to the tour to “generate a lot of publicity.” That’s when “news” of the marriage’s demise would slowly leak out, causing tongues to wag — and Madonna to be on the cover of papers and mags around the world.

The marriage, we’re told, has been effectively over for some time. The couple are friends, and have realized that it is in both of their interests to make a pile of cash from this tour. No working things out here — our spies say rumors of reconciliation are “garbage.” One person told us, “She is simply playing the media — and the public — as usual.”

Wow, that’s so….tacky. But Madonna’s known for being frugal and hoarding her cash, so to me, this seems incredibly crafty, sneaking, well-planned or in other words, just like Madonna. The only good thing about this story is if it’s true, at least she let Guy in on it and he gets a cut of the action. That’s probably the nicest thing she’s ever done for the poor guy.

Source: D